Unity Launches D.O.P.E.

Contact:

Communications, United National Committee

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2025 RELEASE #47 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Unity Founder Throws German Hail Mary Before BAMF

Wednesday, July 23, 2025 (Patrick Henry Village, Germany) – The Chair of the Unity Party of America has followed up one last time with his birth city’s immigration office before following up with the German asylum authorities.

“We’ll see how long it will take to actually receive a reply to my appeal duly filed months ago, but, in any event, I’ll be moving forward with an update for the German immigration authorities regarding developments back in the States,” says Unity Party Founder and Chair Bill Hammons. “Rest assured that, much like the German-language transcript of my original interview, my supplemental statement will go down one day as an unfortunately prescient prediction of the increasingly dark and descending turns, one upon the other, that America is taking into an authoritarian vortex which will leave no American citizen safe. 

“Also rest assured that Secretary Kennedy’s ‘28 run will be the least of the world's worries. Bromancegate will only continue to heat up over the summer, and just might end with an Octavian replacing a Caesar, a global leap from the frying pan into the fire. For the record, I’m suggesting no ‘et tu, Brutus?’ moment; if the pusillanimous wimpiness of my senior Texas senator is remotely representative at all, there isn’t a single pair in the entire chamber of the US Senate.

“But we’ll have to save for another day the stories about how Trump supporters directly disrespected my late father for that man remembering that we didn’t defend countries like Germany just to hand them over on platters to dictators with global ambitions (the first such instance of disrespect taking place minutes after that decorated veteran’s death). God bless America and Forward UP.”

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About the Unity Party of America

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This communication paid for by the United National Committee of the Unity Party of America to advance the liberation of future Unity Party voters. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s committee, nor any authoritarian regime anywhere in the world.