Creepy Gary Swing

Gary Swing: He’ll Always Swing For You

It’s fair to say that the phenom that is Gary Swing, 2024 Candidate for Colorado State Senate District 18 (the author of this page hasn’t looked up Colorado State Senate District 18 on a map, but most likely it’s three steps to the left of Vladimir Lenin) is a warning to all other party founders who are suffering from burnout after years of doing all the work and getting all of the attacks (including from the Swinger himself).

Rest assured that more counterattacks will be posted here in the future, ready to be shared with that small and twisted part of the world that actually cares about Gary, but, first, in case you get in touch with him, be sure to ask him how many real voter signatures he managed to acquire for his failed petition to launch the “Boiling Frog Party.” Ten signatures? Twelve? Gary’s hold on honesty is about as tenuous as his hold on reality, so it’s unlikely you’ll get a straight answer, but, by all means, give it a shot. During that same conversation, you might ask him how appropriate it is that he’s using the hijacked Unity Party of Colorado as a vehicle to push his Leninist agenda, when that party was founded with several successful petitions successfully and solely circulated by Bill Hammons, who stuck to the Centrist pitches he truly believed in: Balanced Budget Amendment, Federal Term Limits, and the outlawing of Gerrymandering.

Anyone who’s dealt with Gary will find out sooner or later that he’s a swamp creature, a scorpion (one gets the sense that such a creature can thrive in any environment; rest assured that same party founder will never take on a former member of the Green Party if he can help it) who’s happy to turn policy disputes into personal attacks (the venom in his true colors [bile green?] started to seep out when the Unity Party founder stated his support for a wall to regulate irregular immigration triggered by Climate Change).

Again, more counterattacks later (perhaps to be posted after the next round of online trolling courtesy the “American Unity Party,” an outfit illegally and fraudulently using copyrighted material and the names of hundreds of people who have nothing to do with their “organization”), but, for now, this page’s author feels better after a bit of venting. Cheers!