Hammons: Sub Musk/Weidel

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Communications, United National Committee

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Unity’s Hammons: Sub Musk/Weidel For Bibi at Auschwitz

Tuesday, December 24, 2024 (Bad Kreuznach, Germany) – The Chair of the Unity Party of America (https://unitypartyamerica.us) humbly suggests that Elon Musk and Alice Weidel make it a date for Auschwitz to sit in for Benjamin Netanyahu.

“I don’t know what Herr Musk has been discussing with the President-elect and RFK over Mickey D’s ‘poison,’ if Trump has been touting his supposed ‘Unity Party’ idea (per Kennedy) as a vehicle for ‘uniting’ Greenland and Panama with Canada in the Greater United States Co-Prosperity Sphere, and has inspired Musk to also look beyond the Matterhorn,” says Chairman Bill Hammons, “but America’s most successful illegal alien is clearly in over his head. Perhaps the Musker should escort Frau Weidel to Auschwitz next month (okay, he’d have to drag her, but at least for her sake there’ll be one less Jew there, and she can reconnect with her Upper Silesian roots à la that Nazi judge grandfather she’s refused to condemn). But I should warn Frau Weidel that she should be wary of such a trip. Not only will she find a pile of so-called ‘bird shit’ that’s a towering monument to humanity’s potential for inhumanity, but odds are that, upon meeting, Herr Musker will offer to spank it for her in the name of furthering his own line of (in?)humanity, which is a bit odd considering his birth appearance. It’s unclear if der Führer would have approved of Frau Weidel’s Meloniesque flirting, but these days at least she too isn’t really German, seeing as how she lives in Switzerland with her +1 (perhaps those two ladies know in their hearts that if Frau Weidel’s chum Höcke had his way to power he’d throw them in a Ravensbrück?).

“Speaking of cross-border illegality, and regarding the fact that Herr Musk dropped out of a Stanford PhD program after only two days to start a start-up in 1995: that’s a clear case of ‘defrauding the United States,’ which is certainly something that one of his dining companions knows all about. Instead of this BS about a ‘Department of Government Efficiency’ (the Unity Party’s Balanced Budget Amendment would be much more effective), perhaps Herr Musk should be forced to fork over the $500,000,000,000.00 fortune he fraudulently acquired in the United States. That’s a drop in the bucket compared to the $36,000,000,000,000.00 the United States currently owes thanks to the two-party duopoly, but every bit counts where we’re talking about a two-hundred-year scandal of waste and abuse. This makes me sick. Happy Holidays. Forward UP.”

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About the Unity Party of America

The Unity Party, dedicated solely to helping humankind find common ground and pragmatic solutions, is an FEC-recognized political party in the United States with a national presence (the Unity Party has 1000s and 1000s of officially-affiliated voters in Colorado alone) and recognition in multiple states around the world. The home of Unitism can be found at unitypartyamerica.us and on social media at https://bsky.app/profile/unityparty.bsky.social, facebook.com/unitypartyofamerica, instagram.com/unitypartyamerica, tiktok.com/@unitypartyamerica, twitter.com/unitypartyus, & youtube.com/@unitypartyamerica.

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