Hammons to Seek Asylum

Contact:

Communications, United National Committee

unitednationalcommittee@gmail.com

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Unity’s Hammons to Seek Asylum; Forward Friday Announced

Thursday, January 9, 2025 (Bad Kreuznach, Germany) – The Chair of the Unity Party of America, having done, to the best of his ability, his own part to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States from a foreign agent 11 days out from the path to total power, on Friday the 10th, at 10 a.m. Bad Kreuznach time, will enter an immigration office exactly one mile from the hill where he was born to a US Army officer, to apply for political asylum per the 1967 Protocol Relating to the Status of Refugees. The Unity Party’s monthly Forward Friday remains scheduled tomorrow for 12 Noon Pacific / 9 PM CET at https://meet.google.com/cej-fyit-kpv, but, in light of the day’s rather unusual expected happenings, it is recommended that interested participants RSVP at unitednationalcommittee@gmail.com to receive updates regarding the Forward.

“First, I’d like to thank Frau Ministerin X, Herr Bundestagsabgeordnete X, Frau Bundestagsabgeordnete X or whoever it was who forwarded my requests for assistance and rightfully forced the issue of my residence application,” says Unity Party Chair Bill Hammons. “Unfortunately, I’ve now been presented out of the blue with a list of requirements for a visa extension that I cannot possibly meet in less than 24 hours. Perfect storms don’t just happen in California: in light of the imminent return to power of a Day-One Dictator who has given fresh indications that he wants to divide the world with Vlad the Imploder like two teenage boys at the board game Risk, starting with a swap of Greenland for Ukraine, I’ll have to take Moldova off the table for myself, and in light of the US-signed extradition treaties throughout the for-now Free World, with a scarce ten days to go before High Noon on the 20th, I’ll have no choice but to apply for political asylum in the Federal Republic. There will be a further complication, considering that I entered the Schengen Zone via Hungary, but that will also be fought with the clear-as-day argument that Orbán’s fiefdom would be the fire to the American frying pan. Tomorrow morning I’ll be saying a prayer. Forward UP.”

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This communication paid for by the United National Committee of the Unity Party of America (https://unitypartyamerica.us) to advance the liberation of future Unity Party of America voters. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s committee, nor any authoritarian regime anywhere in the world.