Chair Congratulates Friedrich

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Unity Chair Congratulates Friedrich; Let’s Hope He’s Great

Monday, February 24, 2025 (Bad Kreuznach, Germany) – The Chair of the Unity Party (https://unitypartyamerica.us), going out on a twig attached to a limb spanning the Atlantic, congratulates the new Chancellor of Germany, his staff, and whoever else has apparently been reading minds and/or press releases.

“I’d like to congratulate den Bundeskanzler as well as global democracy, the real winner of yesterday’s election, and, just share, as an extraordinarily jaded American, that I for one am shocked that I wasn’t shocked by yesterday’s results,” says Unity Party Chair Bill Hammons. “It gives me hope for the future of the world that a major democratic nation enjoyed accurate polls, mature conversations (not counting a bunch of Quatsch from those who shared an amateurish interest in German power minus the requisite interest in German history), expressions of logical faith in the outcome, and an outcome that at least provides a four-year stay of execution for a Republic still threatened from the East, from within its dark past, and from now, I’m sad to say, my own nation.

“The Unity Party’s Founder will save the other ideas bubbling and percolating in his brain today for another day and maybe the next Forward Friday, ideas about the Austin Brigade (we ain’t talkin’ SXSW, folks), the American Confederation (to start with, as I’ve already suggested elsewhere, it’s auf wiedersehen time for my late father’s colleagues, at least the ones who aren’t ready to defend democracy) and “what not,” à la Herr Musk’s idol, but I’ll just say here that it’s an interesting coincidence the next Bundestag election is due in late 2028 (an opportunity to save on paper, anyone? Let’s be sure that paper is ready next time). Forward UP.”

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